Thursday, December 20, 2012

Thoughts From A Pinko Liberal Gun Owner.


In the days since the tragic school shooting in Newtown, CT, I've been roundly castigated for my opinions on gun control on various social media sites, and I've even pissed some people off enough that they haven't spoken to me since.  You see, I'm not a gun nut, an avid hunter, sportsman, police officer, or soldier.  What I am is a science nerd educated in forensics.  I'm also a gun owner.  I own two bolt action rifles passed to me from family members.  There's a lever action rifle that belonged to my great grandfather.  It's a beautiful machine, and my father and I are both quite proud of it.  While we're at it lets throw in two .22 revolvers and a 38 Special that belonged to my mom's father.  I have fired and have experience handling each of these weapons.  I've hunted my family's land with the rifles and passed many an hour sniping at bottles and cans with the handguns.  In the course of my forensics training I've had the chance to handle and fire many other types of weapons, both civilian and military issue.

I could name drop the guns I've fired, but that's not the point.  The point is that many people will dismiss a pro-regulation argument from a liberal, such as myself, by saying that "he's just another crackpot who doesn't know a damn thing about guns."  Well, as I've said, you'd be wrong in this instance.

I'm from the American West. I trace my ancestors through the early pioneers.  At the risk of sounding like a hipster, we practically invented gun toting rugged individualism.  I was raised around guns.  I was taught about guns, not to fear them, but to respect them.  I was schooled by my father and grandfathers in the proper use, maintenance, and safe handling of guns.  I don't like guns as a general rule, but I am comfortable around them.  I could use one to attempt to defend myself or to hunt if the need were to arise.

So some folks have been unhappy with my stance on banning or regulating both automatic and semi-automatic weapons.  Yes, I actually am aware that there is a difference.  Yes, I am aware that the news media does not always draw this distinction.  Let's not also forget that the term "auto" does not just refer to whether you have to keep pulling the trigger to keep firing rounds or not.  The term auto can also refer to any weapon that automatically chambers a round after one is fired.  This helps distinguish these weapons from revolvers or other kinds of action.

I am also quite satisfied that I don't need a semi-automatic or automatic weapon to either defend myself or to hunt.  Yes, I may only have six shots in my revolver, but if I need more than that to defend myself effectively, I'd be in pretty deep trouble anyway.  I also don't need a civilian version of a "military style" or "assault rifle" to defend myself or to hunt.  If the United States government and Military were to come for me for any reason, I'd need a hell of a lot more than a Bushmaster to stop them from laying their hands on me.  Let's dispense with that, because I'm not here to talk about Black Helicopters or conspiracy theories.

You may feel you need these weapons, as you are not me.  Now, I didn't particularly get any jollies out of firing the weapons the army recruiters brought to our forensics classes.  I didn't have a spontaneous orgasm from firing my professor's .45 or 9 mm.  If you do get jollies from these things, seek professional help, as this is not constructive behavior.

You may feel comfortable and safe with your semi autos in your home.  The Sig in your nightstand might make you feel better when you hit the sack.  Let me tell you this, a criminal who really wants to get you is odds on going to get you anyway.  These people wake up in the morning and think about how they are going to spread misery and violence the same way you and I get up in the morning and head to our jobs.  If someone enters your home and really wants to take care of you, chances are they're going to do it before you get the Sig out out of the drawer.  That's IF you keep it loaded, and IF you keep it unsecured, which would make you an irresponsible gun owner, particularly if you have children or mentally ill people around.

I am neither soldier or police officer, therefore I do not labor under the delusion that I would be able to effectively operate a firearm in a stressful, tactical situation anyway.  If you feel you can, and you are also not a soldier or a police officer, I think you're overestimating your abilities.  Having to shoot a moving target that is also shooting back at you with intent to kill you is a whole different scenario than popping off a few rounds at the range or shootin' some bottles with your buddies up at the cabin like I used to do.  Does it occasionally happen that a civilian takes down an armed individual with a personal weapon?  Sure it does, even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile.   In February 2007, a gunman killed 5 people and wounded 4 more at Trolley Square mall in Salt Lake City.  Early reports indicated that a man with a concealed weapon kept him busy until police arrived.  Folks squealed with glee thinking that this was a modern day civilian do-gooder who was packing heat at the Spaghetti Factory.  It was an off duty Ogden Police officer.

I've seen the damage these weapons can do to a human body.  I've seen it firsthand.  Working with local CSI, I picked up pieces of a guy's brain from the backseat of a car after he was shot in the face with a 9mm.  It wasn't very pretty.  Can you imagine what a powerful, even semiautomatic weapon can do to the body of a 5 year old kid?  I can.  I've seen it, it's the most horrendous thing you could EVER imagine, and I don't know about you, but I can imagine a lot.  Again, it's a whole different ball game than admiring the hole you put in the target at the firing range.  It's not sport, it's very real, and it's very violent, as the parents of 20 children in Newtown can now attest to.  I'd suspect a few of those funerals with be closed casket services.

Besides, there will now be 20 sets of parents that have Christmas presents but no kids to open them them on Christmas morning.  But you still have your gun, and I'm sure that will go a long way in comforting them.

Does that sound crass of me?  Well I'm sorry.  Twenty kids and six adults are now dead, and the only thing you can think to do is fill up social media with paranoid posts about how you "ain't gonna let no one take your gun"?  To me, that's not only crass, but it's unconscionable.

After Aurora, I was like you.  I was of the opinion that "Now isn't the time to talk about the guns, we need to let people grieve.  Guess what?  We had a national election, and nobody talked about it.  Now more innocent blood stains the walls of our schools and shopping centers.  The time to talk is now, let's try to fix this before more people get hurt.

However, I'm a pragmatist.  I know that banning assault weapons or even semi autos isn't a magic cure.  They're out there, and they'll remain out there.  What we can do is stop the flow of more weapons into our streets and homes.  Not just our homes either.  Many of the weapons used by Mexican cartels are purchased in the United States with money made from Americans buying Marijuana, cocaine, meth, or whatever.  These guns are not available in Mexico, and are purchased in the USA and smuggled across the border.  Think I'm kidding?  Watch a couple of episodes of Nat Geo's series "Border Wars."

So I would say lets ban the further sale and manufacture of these weapons.  You have them already?  Keep them.  I'm not for the government going into homes and rounding up people's guns.  Please, secure them.  Be responsible, be aware of those around you and of those who might have access to your weapons, such as your mentally ill son.

Second, ban the sale of high capacity magazines.  You really don't need them.  Again, keep what you have and secure them.  However, an individual should not be able to just hop on the internet and buy thousands of bullets.  You want ammo for target shooting or hunting?  Go down to the store and buy it. Hell, they sell it in supermarkets here.  I would also set price controls on ammunition, making it a bit more expensive to buy enough bullets to kill a lot of folks.  Are you honestly going to tell me it's right to raise the price of soda because it'll make you fat but NOT raise the price of ammo?

One more thing I'd like to address while I'm ranting.  Let's dispense with this asinine moral equivalence that people are drawing between cars and guns.  If you're not smart enough to see the difference between a car and a gun, you're not qualified to use either one.  Period.  This is the worst kind of fallacy.  Yes, you can kill somebody with a car.  You know what?  I can kill someone with a pillow, with water, oxygen, or even a bag full of books.  That does NOT make them the moral equivalent of a gun, a weapon solely designed to inflict destruction on an object, animal, or individual.  Yes it's true that people use cars, pillows, and guns irresponsibly to the same effect, but to equate those items in that regard is insane.  Form follows function.  A gun is designed to inflict injury, a car is a mode of transportation.  Apples and oranges. 

While we're on the subject, I've pulled dead bodies out of wrecked cars too.  It was nasty, but nowhere NEAR as nasty as the guy who got his face blown off.

Besides, we actually regulate cars more than guns in this country.  To operate a car, you have to have a license.  That license must be renewed every few years, and you are required to carry liability insurance on a car.  Most states require cars to be taxed as property and inspected every year.  If I told you that you couldn't have a gun without a license of public record that had to be renewed, that you had to insure it, and that you had to present it to an agent of the state government to have it inspected every year, you'd freak out, but then you might be more justified in your silly comparison.

In regards to comparing an automatic or semi automatic gun to a car, and saying you really don't NEED a car that goes over 55, let me mention, in way of comparison, that you don't see people driving Formula One cars around on the street.  There is a reasonable limit with cars, and there should be reasonable limits on firearms.

I also had the unfortunate experience of nearly being shot once as well.  As a teenager I was sitting outside at the fireplace at my cabin eating lunch one day.  It's no more than ten yards from the house.  As I was sitting there, I heard and felt something whiz past my head.  A fraction of a second later the bark on the tree behind me exploded and a deer came running out of the brush, followed by a hunter with a rifle.  I was scared shitless and so was he, as he took off.  A ranger and a Sheriff's deputy came and pulled what was left of the bullet out of the tree, and said I was very lucky.  I was extremely close to becoming one of these "unfortunate incidents" and it has forever colored the way I feel about guns.

As you say, it's your right.  Remember though, times change.  Once upon a time people thought it was their "right" to own another human being as property.  This was just fine for nearly a hundred years under our constitution, and it changed.  Can't we all get together and come up with some common sense solutions that might make us all safer?  After all, yes, we need to update our mental health services, but it's still easier to get a gun that to get your insurance to pay for a shrink.

In the end, I'm not going to change anyone's mind.  I don't even really ask that you respect my opinion.  What I am saying is that contrary to popular belief, my opinion is NOT based in ignorance, and I will continue to express it, as is my "right."  If I lose friends and family over it, then I'm dreadfully sorry, but I really think it's time we addressed these issues as a country.

Finally, I'd like to express my gratitude for the men and women in law enforcement and our Armed Forces, who face down guns everyday to try and keep us all a little safer.  You will ALWAYS have my respect.