Frustration sets in.....

You know the only thing worse than going through college, getting a degree, and then not being able to find a job? Doing the whole thing over! Going back, getting another degree (one that is supposedly better) and still not being able to find any kind of a decent job.

So here I sit. A year after signing up for a crap job to help my wife and I scrape by. I start to wonder how much longer I can put up with it. Hell I could probably make more money off of unemployment benefits than I make at this job, but I wasn't raised to take hand out when there was another option.

All the same though, having two college degrees but still having to schlep crappy products to dumb red necks and cheap skates makes me want to put a bullet in my head. Every day I get to go to work and wonder if I'm gonna get yelled at by an idiot because we don't have the life vest he wants in stock. I'm fucking tired of it.

I'm sick of this. "This is America, all you have do is work hard and you can live good life." Yeah well, if that's your position, I'd like to kindly encourage you to bend over and kiss my ass. My wife and I both have college degrees and we both have jobs, yet we can't go to the doctor without draining our savings. As much as we both look for jobs, they're not there, and that's coming from a place where the economy isn't as bad as it is in some other areas.

So many of the the types who sit on their duffs behind a desk all day for some business or for the government have no clue about what the rest of us go through. "Yeah I got job on base because my mom knows people, and I just pretty much sit and read novels." Meanwhile that person has no clue how the people that run the register at the store she shops at struggle. She doesn't know that the people flipping her burgers or serving her table at the cafe can't go to the doctor for something as simple as a mild cough.

Therein lies the problem with America. A fundamental error. When the hurricane hits, we all run to throw money at the affected areas and then pat ourselves on the back and tell ourselves how wonderfully generous we are, yet we ignore the plight of thousands of people we come into actual contact with every week. We tell ourselves that if these people work hard and have faith, they'll be ok.

So don't tell me I'm fortunate to have a job. Trust me, I know I am. I couldn't imagine being totally unemployed right now. I know there are always people worse off than I am, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to be frustrated with my situation either.

I'm gonna be ok, we'll be ok, my wife and I. I still do have enough faith that we're gonna catch a break at some point, and I'm trying to make that break happen as best I can. Still though, the longer it takes, the more that faith decreases. and the temptation to give up becomes ever stronger.

Underneath this smile Lies everything
All my hopes, anger, pride and shame

Make myself a pact, not to shut doors on the past
Just for today,... I am free

I will not lose my faith
It's an inside job today

I know this one thing well...